Firewalking with the Goddesses
September 2016, Sedona Arizona, Warrior Goddess Ignite your Fire Weekend It's surreal being back in Sedona, in the same place my huge transformation had taken place just a few months ago, in April. Only this time, I am here with HeatherAsh Amara and 50 women for a Warrior Goddess Training Wisdom Weekend. It's alot quieter here this time, in April there were 200 attendees which included men. I recognize a couple of faces and am very happy to see my favorite staff members are still there and very much a part of the programs. Saturday proved to be a very intense day for me emotionally. I moved through huge amounts of grief in an afternoon session and by supper was still feeling the effects of the healing. Knowing there was a firewalk in the evening and remembering how intense it was the first time, I chose to have a nap. By the time I was supposed to be leaving, I felt I was still not emotionally ready to go. I called my husband in tears, and allowed the wisdom to once again sink in. "Honey, you are with the woman who is teaching you to not be so hard on yourself, that self care is okay! I'm sure she will understand if you don't bring 100% to the next session."
Yes. That was it. "Always do your best, knowing that your
best will change moment to moment". I had made the choice not to walk across the coals as I felt my energy wasn't where it needed to be, and I was okay with that. I would be there and support the other women and hold space. The session was different right from the start, the energy was softer, not as ramped up. HeatherAsh's energy was quieter, the same information was presented but it hit me on a different level this time. We made the same trek in the pitch black, in complete silence, meditating on what we wanted to give to the fire. When we arrived at the pit, I was very surprised at the difference...no roaring fire!! My brain lit up like bats flying out of a cave....."where's the bon fire?". There was a soft glowing oval covering the earth, approx the same diameter as the last bed of coals but rounded. A soft smile came across my face as I observed women preparing for their first walk, nodding knowlingly, I positioned myself across the pit from HeatherAsh providing an anchor, energetically holding space for these women about to take their first steps. HeatherAsh started drumming and we all joined in with the chant she previously taught us. In that moment, I was very comfortable with my decision not to walk and to be an anchor for the other women. I sang, I cheered, and I emitted love to each and every woman that crossed. Memories of my first walk flooded back to me, images flashed through my mind, the intensity, the triumph of overcoming fear and the extacy that followed. Then, as I was cheering, a little voice came into my head from a previous conversation about my first experience, "you didn't walk on fire, there is NO WAY you did that, you are not capable of doing that." I didn't even skip a beat in the chant.
I left my spot, went to the coals and walked. No hesitation, no thought, no emotion.
I...just....did...it....went back to my spot and kept singing, while a silent "fuck you" floated through my consciousness and disappeared. What I left in the coals that evening, was my old agreement to play small. I am good enough, I am more than good enough, I am brilliant and gifted and FULL of fire! I fear nothing and I will not allow anyone to dampen my flame! We have no concept of how powerful we can be! I had convinced myself I didn't have enough energy to walk. And not only did I walk...I walked with no prepration...none. There was also no dwelling on the fact. I made a choice, and in a flash it was done. Fear is debilitating, on the opposite side of fear, is freedom Angela McPherson
Join me onTwitter at https://twitter.com/AMcPherson444
Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/AngelaMcPherson444
Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/angelamcpherson444